It’s really a headache when children are becoming naughtier as they grow up!
How was it when your children became moody for the first time? What have made those obedient children who are used to holding their parents’ hands become clamorous and behave in a wilful manner?
What is your reaction? Still no improvement?
Naughtiness provoked by curiosity
Mr Erik H Erikso, a famous Americian psychologist1,2, pointed that children reaching the preschool stage (ages of 3 – 6) are full of exploratory capabilities and strong curiosity. They want to explore the world’s limitations and boundaries, hoping to assert control over something around them and develop a sense of responsibility, as well as doing something to attract your attention. On the other hand, confronting with the competitive growing environment, parents are losing their patience with their expectations for children. They want their children to get off to a good start and exert too much pressure on them, causing them to lose their confidence and develop a sense of self-doubt. Consequently, children tend to give up easily and behave in an increasingly wilful manner.
Naughtiness provoked by anxiety and stress
Some parents may feel shocked about their children’s mood swings and become anxious all day long. Children at this stage are mentally mature gradually and face with various pressure in their daily lives – they leave home and go to school, interacting with strangers and unfamiliar environment for the first time which inevitably make them feel anxious. This uneasy feeling will be aggravated if they are treated unfairly or edged out by peers in school. As children are not sophisticated enough to express their feelings verbally, they make use of wilful behaviour to release their anxiety and stress.
Find out the root cause of the problem and change the way of communication
It takes time to develop the emotion quotient of a child. More haste, less speed. It’s important for parents to have necessary skills of communicating with their children in order to effectively manage and control their moods and emotions.
First, start with the root cause of the problem. It’s easy for children to become disobedient when they are nervous. Whenever they are disobedient, don’t debate with them immediately, but wait until they are calm, then lead them to look into the problem and listen to them, eliminating their anxiety and stress from the root cause. At the same time, it’s important to develop their anti-stress capability, which will help them to overcome difficulties by dealing with them in a positive way when things are getting tough along their road of growth.
Next, learn to appreciate your children by approving and encourging their improvement and hard work. This also helps to create trust between you and your children. Mr Erik H Erikson further revealed that children will be more proactive if their performance is appreciated and a sense of responsibility can then be developed. They need to feel love and be loved to enable them to love themselves and others.
Consequently, act as a role model. As parents, your behaviour will have a direct influence on the way your children think and behave. The complicated human behaviour is mainly formed by acquired learning through observation and imitation. For children, they like to imitate the behaviour of the one who is most important to them. Therefore, parents should act as their children’s role model. To manage the motions of children, control your behaviour first.
Children’s education and emotion management cannot be accomplished overnight. You will be closer to your children only by effective communication, mutual respect and trust building. Tahoe Life understands well that as parents, you are faced with lots of challenges and desire to provide the best for your children. Your exclusive financial proposition will be tailor-made by our professional financial planning teams based on your needs. Even if your children study abroad in the future, you can always make prior preparations and craft their wonderful future.
Sources:
1.Erickson’s 8 Stages of Psychosocial Development (read01.com, 29 December 2016)
2.”What children need for their growth development”, 2nd episode, season 4 of “Good psychological mind by understanding each other” (Star Internet Radio, 6 August 2015)
